Beauty and it's beholder.

An excerpt from Marianne Williamson's book, entitled, "A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles" states,

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?

I ran across this quote on a Facebook page and it struck me fervently. The quote goes on to state that every being is a manifest of God and how showcasing ourselves in a proud and upright manner will catapult others to do the same. For some time now, I've been getting heat from friends and fellow Twitter users on my feelings of botox treatments. Not that I can change your minds and make you see my reasoning, but I think you need to know my side.


As most wish, I, too, wish that I could forget my middle school years. Endless taunting and mistreatment have created the scars that I am, now, at the age of nineteen, dealing with. Battle wounds of the words "fag" and "queer". Bloodstains of the words "fat" and "ugly". And the thoughts of suicide. Just words and thoughts, but these are the words and thoughts that I remember. I don't remember many friendships. I don't remember many places. All that I'm left with, is the rubble that was created of my self-esteem by my peers. Now that I've grown from the tender age of twelve, thirteen, and fourteen, I look forward instead of backward...but I still carry the scars.


The reason I want botox is not to cover up the wrinkles and imperfections, but more of a symbol that I've endured enough and now is my time to shine and lead the way. After a very difficult junior year of high school, I was left with shattered friendships and over 200 scars from cutting myself. These are things that I will NEVER be able to 100% hide or fix. But the line in my forehead, the one thing that 500$ can fix, I will get fixed. The results may not last a lifetime, but for the short time that they do last, I can feel beautiful to me. Readers, you can say that you like me the way I am, but no matter how much you love the way I look, I'm the one who has to live with the emotional and physical scars of my youth. Put me down if you want, but my self-worth is more important than your approval. I ask that, even if you don't understand or agree 100% with me, please stand behind me. If this is the only or last time yo do, I ask that you support me.