My body, My journey.

Amidst my fashion blogs, I'll still be posting blogs about my life including the following:

In the fashion world, image is everything. The clothes you wear, the hairstyle you choose, the accessories you adorn, and yes, even your naked body. That's why this year is my year to change. I know we all say it every year, don't EVEN lie, "oh, you know, I really am going to lose weight this year," "I'm making a change and melting off the fat this year," "this year's my year to drop the weight!" Well, I've used ALL of the excuses and made all of the mistakes. I feel that it's time to actually do something about my weight. I feel like I've written this blog before but I don't care! This year, I'm going to Memphis in March, Louisiana for a week or two during the summer, the beach for at least a week in the summer, and to some of the southeast's hottest and largest malls. Its just now dawning on me that I am, in fact, going to want to look good for these things. I want to be the guy who lays on the beach while everyone stares at me. I want to be the guy who takes his shirt off at the club and I get to dance with a few good looking guys. I want to be the guy, at the mall, that all the girls pine over and all the guys sneer at. So-in lieu of all my wants, I'm giving that to myself. I know some people may say that happiness comes from what's on the inside but not for me. I still care about people and the environment, but I'm unapologetically materialistic. I love to see plants grow, and puppies play, and kids playing. But I like to live by what I own. I know it may seem selfish and shallow but its just me. And it doesn't stop there; my mom and I are both thinking of getting some work done. I have this line on my forehead that I want reduced and I would also like a little botox in the corners of my eyes and a little in between my eyebrows along with some laser hair removal. And I'm not going to turn into a Joan/Melissa Rivers. I just want these things to make myself feel better. But the only way I'll let myself have these things is if I lose the weight, keep it off, and get a job that pays. I'm just glad that I do have some friends that support me. I don't think that wanting to drop 3-4 jean sizes in a few months is outrageous, nor do I think that treating myself to botox and laser hair removal is over the line. Its a goal that I'm comfortable with and I stand by it no matter how some of my friends feel. I'm tired of feeling fat and outwardly ugly. If I'm strong enough to state how I currently feel about myself, I'm strong enough to change it.

xoxo
matthew!